watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
