her vagine was all disorganized.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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