I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
