i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize