my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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