We won't sleep together?
if only i could text you this smell
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
