You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize