You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You can't special order awesome
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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