the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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