Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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