She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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