so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
