Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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