how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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