My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize