That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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