Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I currently don't understand fingers.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
