real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
