I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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