On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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