You smell like stripper and shame
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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