turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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