its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
And then he peed in my hair
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