That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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