she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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