I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
