What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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