I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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