so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
