Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
