she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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