thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
