I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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