True but thats because hes a fetus.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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