Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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