Will you blow on my dice?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
