Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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