Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
