I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
