There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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