you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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