Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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