never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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