The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
