My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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