To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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