he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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