Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
