I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
