The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
