I can't watch pbs sober anymore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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