in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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