Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
