i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
