I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
