even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
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I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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