have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
