I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
