He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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